When I was 16 years old I started watching Law&Order:Special Victims Unit and absolutely fell in love with it. I have to say one of the best shows on t.v. I learned a lot because of that show. The statistics are heartbreaking. To know every 60 seconds a women in america is sexually assaulted and not even half of these women get justice. Mariska Hargitay who has played Detective Olivia Benson on SVU for 15 seasons has proven to the world that she was more then just an actress and had more to offer the world then just talent and a pretty face. In 2004 she started The Joyful Heart Foundation to help survivors of sexual assault. Her foundation has helped thousands of rape survivors. She is my idol my inspiration to do better to help someone to make a difference. I just hope to become half the person she is. She changed the world and opened my eyes and taught me to educate myself on the subject and what I’ve learned is heartbreaking.
“He who does not weep, does not see”
The miserable ones
Losing people is something im familiar with in my life. Losing friends or family members i know what it feels like to lose someone. All too well actually. When I was 5 I lost my grandfather I didnt know him too well but I saw the pain everyone was going through. When I was 11 I lost my uncle but this loss wasn’t like my grandfather, my uncle was murdered. He was a victim of Sept 11. That loss I remember like it was yesterday, I remember where I was and who I was with and everything from beginning to end. This loss him me hard mainly because I was a secluded child, I spent all my time alone so the memories that everyone else had with him I never did. My fear of being seen and fear of not being accepted had held me back from a lot of things. Thats what hurts the most not knowing what everyone else does not remembering what everyone else does and not having what they do.. When I was 23 I lost my other uncle from cancer and a man who was like my grandfather. A few family friends and some more family. Im not oblivious to the fact that people die but that pain sucks. Losing my friends or my so called friends was hard too but that’s something I can handle I cant always get new ones but losing someone forever so suddenly is something that cant be replaced.
My biological mother was a heroine addict and used while pregnant with me. I tested positive after birth and was hospitalized for two week. I was removed from her custody and placed in a foster home. A wife husband 2 biological sons and another foster child. I know this because I’ve been told this story a million times. My foster parents had fostered about 5 children all together. Not at the same time. I was with them for about 4 years before my adoption was finalized by the courts. So my foster parents became my adoptive parents. I have to say im very fortunate to have been given the opportunity that I was. They chose me and I chose them. I couldn’t ask for a better parents then them. It doesn’t always work out like this for other children though. Their are over 400,000 children in foster care and probably more who have aged out or have been given the chance to be adopted. Now I have to say that its way to many children in the system. All these children need are people to believe in them, someone who is going to be there everyday, someone is going to remind them that world isn’t as screwed up as they think. These children deserve a chance at a life a chance to be somebody. They figure whats the point in trying if this is how it goes. The younger kids have that fear in their eyes and just want a place to call home. A chance to make friends and be a child. This kids shouldn’t have to worry about being abused or neglected or wondering if they are going to eat tonight. They need to be playing outside carefree making friends memories a life they can be proud of. Im not saying that they need to be rocked and coddled but they could use a hug. Someone to hold on their hearts and never let go. I hope to one day foster a child or a few children. Become stef n Lena from the fosters. Maybe even adopt like my mom did. I also hope to become a social worker, to fight for them to be there to show then im not like everyone else I do care.
I just saw a video of a girl who was rapping about her experience with domestic violence and I have to say it touched me. It broke my heart to see what that does to people. My mother was a victim of domestic violence and I was just a young kid I didn’t know what to do. I just sat there stunned by what I was watching. The look of fear in her eyes just shook me to the core. She was so helpless. I remember it like it was yesterday. We waste our time talking about sports entertainment t.v shows movies the tabloids and we forget about the real news the news that matters. Its so easy for us to talk about Miley Cyrus Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber but we can’t take that time to talk about domestic violence, rape, murder, the foster care system, the military, starving children, kidnapping, child abuse, or bullying. I think because we haven’t dealt with the kind of issues that need to be talked about that to some it doesn’t matter. I mean come on people are dieing and being abducted and abused and we just sit back and watch as it all unfolds. Domestic Violence is real and happens everyday and someone is suffering in silence. We need to speak up and say something we need to protect these people. It takes just a little time to educate yourself in these issues and to teach our children about it. Lets not allow history to repeat itself. Let make a change we have now to do it. I heard someone say we waste our words and we waste on moments talking about pens and the kind of clothes we have and we forget to tell the people we love that we love them we spend our time talking about useless things lets talk about something more important, the rest can wait.
Stuck in a situation wanting so badly to get out of. Trying and thinking of a million different ways to change it and no matter how badly I want to get out of it, the situation just haunts me. Stuck in a home with people who have no regard to other people but themselves. Stuck with people who do nothing but make you feel like crap every chance they get. Attitude disrespect bigger then Texas. So how do you get away. How do you unstuck yourself from rhe situation? I guess you keep fighting like hell until you can. Just have to keep telling myself i’m stronger then this and I will get through it.
“Grief is like the ocean . It’s deep and dark and bigger then all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet, Persistent, and unfair”